Carolina a Chilean friend has come round to visit.  She is having roasted chicken and a glass of Cider. I ask if she would like to try some peppered snails that have become an addiction, a necessary weekly indulgence ordered from Adrian’s Place and Apartments on  M.C.C.
Carolina’s never eaten snails before and I am looking at her thinking how is that possible!
She wants to try them just so she can say that she has tried them.  She says that in Chile, snails are reared just to sell them to the French because Chileans aren’t really hot on snails. And that based on the order from France, the snails are categorised and fed different herbs so that they have the different flavours of the herbs they are fed.

She is talking and I am thinking...
“Wetin?!”

Yes, you know when you are a small child and you put some dirt in your mouth.  It tastes like that.
My usual order is 3 - 4 portions, with not too much pepper and cooked so that my jaw is intact at the end of the meal.

Thats my order below.  Won’t be surprised if they call me Ms. Double Portions behind my back.
She puts a piece of the snail in her mouth.  She chews.  She says they taste rubbery.  I expected that.  She says they taste like soil.  I think “really!”

“Like soil?”
Hmmm I don’t know what to say to that one o.

I ask for her conclusion

Well, she says, chewing hard, it tastes like soil and it is rubbery, so I guess it tastes like a tyre!
Long-w-throat